KIELBASA LIFE Life in Poland Po prostu Chris

A Case of the Uglies


Mirror, Mirror

In an expat group I am in, we were recently discussing the phenomenon of subjective attractiveness. For example, you are a plain old 6 in your home country, but an exotic 9 in your new country. This is a phenomenon I have never experienced. It’s not because the country I moved to has a similar standard of beauty to my own country. It’s because they have a similar standard of ugly. I have come to accept my empirical ugliness. People hardly ever let on that they know or wonder if I know they know I know (Friends fans). What can I say? I’ve got a face for radio. Or podcasts. Or whatever it is that the kids listen to these days. I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I am universally, internationally unattractive. Nothing can faze me, right?

As you can probably tell, I’m not hip to what the kids are into these days. If I didn’t have kids of my own, I wouldn’t even know half of what is going on in pop culture. It’s like I am pop culture immune, well not immune, let’s say resistant. I’m pop culture resistant. Not intolerant, just resistant. The pop culture just doesn’t sink in. Names don’t stick. Faces don’t stick. Titles I can’t remember. All actors are reduced to the description “that guy from that movie with that other guy”. If it were not for Google, I would not know anybody’s name or the title of any songs.

A very attractive couple, indeed

So I am at work, minding my business, when a couple walks in for their lessons, well, his lessons. They are a Very Attractive Couple, internationally attractive I would even say. We interact in English, however they speak their own language, Polish, between them. It turns out that the Mrs. is none too pleased that her husband’s Spanish teacher is a young and attractive woman. But that’s the only teacher we’ve got, so there you are and anyhow, I don’t run this show. I assured her that we have plenty of male English teachers, and I am sure she and her husband will be satisfied with their selection if/when he starts English lessons, when the wife turns to the husband and says “z nią możesz mieć”. (you can have with her)

I don’t suppose it was my sparkling personality that won them over.

It was only much later that I was informed that Mr. and Mrs. are local stars or personalities of some sort. Their universal attractiveness confirmed by their many fans. Well who knew? Not me. Everyone at work did. My kids did though. But no me. Not a clue. Crazy, right?

Keeping it ugly every day.


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  • Reply
    November 12, 2019 at 6:28 pm

    I've read once an article that pretty people are allowed (in general opinion) much more that any other (unattractive ones). I guess they may've read it, too.
    At least tell me they suck at English.

  • Reply
    November 14, 2019 at 7:16 pm

    I think they have read that! Or life has just taught them that lesson.

    Well, about their English, they’ve just started so it’s still firmly on the sucky side 😉

  • Reply
    November 16, 2019 at 7:53 pm

    Chris, first off – welcome back! You either just resumed blogging or my subscription was broken and I didn’t know it. 😉 Second, I experienced the phenomenon by watching my high school Peace Corps American teachers – many, but not all, were attractive but all well equally popular. Some married Polish partners, like yourself. I think I’m a number or two higher in the US than I was in Poland. People say they find my accent sexy. Finally, I believe I saw some of your picture and you are universally attractive IMO. The Mrs. most likely passed her judgment not by your looks but by the vibe you were giving as a non-flirtatious type.

  • Reply
    November 19, 2019 at 3:33 pm

    Aneta- Hello! Thanks for the welcome back. I was ill for a good long time, and unable to write, but now I’m going to do my best to return to writing. You must be mistaken about my picture 😉 but I certainly like your interpretation that it was my vibe that drew them in. And I envy you your sexy accent. I don’t think American accents are particularly sexy, but Polish are quite nice I have to say.

  • Reply
    December 8, 2019 at 10:44 am

    Oh Chris. Nice to read you again.
    I have only your words for ugly Chris. So let's wait till we see you.
    Waiting impatiently for your story's from the attractive land of kiełbasa.

  • Reply
    July 25, 2020 at 4:23 pm

    The residence permit of Poland is a document that allows it holder to legally reside in Poland. Depending on its type and the reason, upon which it has been issued, it may also allow or prohibit other activities, such as conducting business.

  • Reply
    August 1, 2020 at 4:24 pm

    Waiting for new posts from the Land of Kielbasa in the age of Corona! I do hope you are all well and just taking a break from writing.

  • Reply
    August 20, 2020 at 10:27 am


    I have plans to return here. Thanks so much for your encouragement. We are having a crazy Corona time in our family. Fingers crossed for a safe school year this year.

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