I have always achieved my goals through motivation and a strong will. Okay, okay, there are plenty of goals I have made in my life and not achieved, but lack of will and motivation wasn’t the cause. Now I am at the point where I think neither motivation nor a strong will can help me.
Goal: Reduce cholesterol to normal human levels.
I am extremely motivated to do this. My marathon running father had a quadruple bypass at age 52, just months after running a race. Many of my cousins from my father’s side of the family have had heart attacks under the age of 50. I don’t want to end up like that. When another cousin had a heart attack at age 40 last year, I decided to get my cholesterol tested. It was 300. I was shocked and paralyzed with fear. I didn’t eat for several days not knowing what was safe to put in my body. Motivation kicked in when my father died soon after that and my cardiologist tried to reassure me by saying, “Don’t worry. I’ve operated on people younger than you.” He also said “wdzianko” my least favorite word in Polish thus losing his Hot Doctor title once and for all.
I do not want to leave my children motherless. You’d think that would translate into “I don’t want to die”, but it really is about sticking around for my kids. It’s especially important as we have no extended family to depend on. If it was just me, I’d eat all the bacon and get fat and die. It’s my birthright.
Sure, I want to be slim. I absolutely want to be fit. I am quite slim and relatively fit. I don’t eat what a heart patient shouldn’t. I exercise vigorously, not moderately, my allotted times per week. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. So what’s up with my cholesterol?
After one year of hard work, my cholesterol is down 25 points to 275. That’s great, right? I should be happy with my achievement, and I am. The thing is, my bad cholesterol hasn’t budged, not even one point. I’m still motivated, still wanting to stay alive and all that. I am able to just not eat all that stuff I shouldn’t. It’s not a big deal really. But Jeezuz, what if it isn’t enough? I’m going into Year 2 of my cholesterol lowering plan. Let’s hope it’s enough.
Me on a chilly bike ride 🙂