Have you heard the old joke?
What is long and hard and you get it from your Polish husband on your wedding night? His surname!
Ha, ha, ha.
You cannot imagine how many times I have heard this stupid joke. I don’t even pretend to laugh anymore. My husband’s surname is not that long and not really that hard either, but I still decided to stick with my own name. Why? It is because I’m a strong, independent woman who doesn’t want to be enslaved by the patriarchy of society by being forced to take my husband’s name.
If you believe that then you don’t really know me. I’m just simply lazy. I got married in Poland so by law I would have to take the feminine form of my husband’s name and then go to court to request a name change to the masculine form. I wanted to have the masculine form that my husband has so that in our American ID’s, we would have the same name. Then I would have to change all my Polish ID’s and all my American ID’s. Get the picture? And did I mention that I’m lazy.
PS. Once while at the hospital after my 1st child was born, the nurses were calling for me by Mrs and my husband’s surname (because our children carry their father’s name). For a split second (ok, it was longer than that – I was kind of spacey after the birth), I looked around to check if my mother-in-law was there and wondered what they were calling her for.
donnaSeptember 24, 2009 at 7:39 pm
My opinion is: stick to whatever surname you find more attractive. Or whatever. I just wanted to say that I love your blog, your fresh opinions on Poles and Americans alike and life in Poland in general. Reading your posts is an exhilarating experience. Just keep me amused, as you do …
ChrisSeptember 25, 2009 at 1:27 pm
Thanks so much Donna. It's nice to hear that someone besides myself and Misiu are reading my blog. I will do my best to keep a smile on your face! Have you visited Poland before or do you live here maybe?
donnaSeptember 25, 2009 at 8:44 pm
I live here and I'm a 100% Pole. Well, my family tree says there was some nice French-governess blood mixed into our own generations ago, but it probably has got so diluted that there's no trace left …Pozdrowienia dla całej Waszej rodziny!
ChrisSeptember 26, 2009 at 1:51 pm
French-governess blood sounds very intriguing. I'm 100% American but we've got some Polish heritage a few generations back on my father's side. I won't be researching it though…Michalik family from Nowy Targ area…there must be thousands!
AnonymousNovember 19, 2012 at 7:38 pm
Keep your maiden name! There is absolutely no reason why a woman should change her last name! BTW I came across your blog today and I can’t stop reading it:) I am a Polish American. I was born in Poland and moved to the U.S. when I was a kid. I have never been to Poland since I left, so it is really interesting to read about it from an American perspective. Best, D.
ChrisNovember 20, 2012 at 6:42 am
D- Welcome! Feel free to keep on reading 😉 Are you thinking about making a visit? Do still speak Polish? And the most important question – did your mother or grandmother teach you how to make pierogi?PS Comments more than 2 weeks old are moderated just so I don't miss them :)Chris